It turns out that I was able to get the sidekick up and running, with the free nights and weekends. JEAH.
The only problem is I'm having reception issues...at work...scratch that...all over and near Wall St, which is just fucking, "wow" considering that I live in New York City, the financial capital of the world, where I'm pretty sure people use their celphones a lot. I can't even say it's the phone (or maybe it is...), because, there are other people here with them and no, they don't seem to be having the same issues that I am having. Or it doesn't look that way.
But, then again, "ha ha ha ha, I'm life, I'm going to be unfair to Glen. Ha ha ha."
See, this is why I have this mentality/outlook on life. This is a perfect example. I'm pissed because of the dissapointments. The constant dissappointments. That's all life ever feels like: Constant dissappointments. They hit me in the face like well-rolled snowballs; hard and cold, they don't immediately break apart upon hitting my face. And it's like this, almost all the fucking time. If it's not one thing, it's another.
I really can't wait for lunch, so that, yeah, I could struggle to find reception to get on AIM, because, yeah, why should I be getting the maximum usage on my phone for the extra $20 I'm spending a month? I mean, why should I be getting at least a bar when I'm walking around an area like WALL STREET so I can use my CELPHONE? Life needs to stop shitting on me, and anyone else who probably doesn't need it/deserve it. Hell, I can give Life a list of people who sorely need to be shat on...but, that's another entry.
Ugh.
I haven't been on form as of late. It stems from this whole "It's almost my birthday" funk that I seem to fall into almost every year. Usually, something makes me fall into this "funk." Or someone. Last year, it was Pennie telling me that she had met someone else. Yes, she felt the need to tell me at that exact moment. The night before my fucking 23rd birthday. What impecable timing.
This year, it's a few things. Here goes:
First off, apparently, I must be a good luck charm, because, when you women have any interest in me, which eventually fizzles, you find someone else. Instantly, especially when you fuck me over. I mean, at least that's how it looks from here. It's fucked up. It's also really fucking depressing because, seriously, why should you be happy after fucking me over? Huh? Why should you just happily walk away, and I writhe in silence?
And, egh, I kinda like someone at work, but, she doesn't seem to be interested. Who saw that coming?
This ultimately goes in the direction of me thinking that there must be something wrong with me. I mean, everyone leaves, everyone gets over me, and, oh yeah, I must be fucking ugly, too. Sometimes, I wish I had a typical shit eater grin. You know the one. The one that when you see it, the first word out of your mouth is "wow, that dude looks like an asshole." And you're usually right about it. If I had this specific type of grin, women would draw specific conclusions about me and my character, and you know, fuck me, because, we all know that a woman will take an asshole over someone who's genuinely good.
Also, I've got to stop liking chicks for their personalities. I've got to start fixating on their breasts or something, because, you know, women love being told that they have "nice tits" as opposed to "wow, you're an awesome person." An awesome example of that was Cecily, who would have rather dated (wait, she actually did) a dude who only commented on her body and is practically a date rapist. That was a much better choice than say...me. But, with her, I really shouldn't feel bad. She has terrible taste. I would have probably stood a better chance if I was, per say, a tool. Yeah, she likes tools. Only tools. Yet, all she ever does is bitch and moan about how much she hates tools. Next time she says that (if I ever choose to freely IM her again), I should just tell her to "Shut up and stop fucking them, because, yeah, all you fucking date/fuck are tools."
But, yeah, I really shouldn't let it get to me. It's not my fault most women are fucking selfish, chickenshit hypocrates.
Oh, and speaking of chickenshit hypocrates, I ran into this chick Athena today. Wait. Scratch the "ran into" part. She walked by me and "didn't recognize me" (I'm sure she recognized me) and I say "didn't recognize me" because, back in high school, where I first met her, we were pretty close. It's also safe to say that I was into her, and she into me, but, yeah, in the begining (actually, the first fucking day) of my Senior year (her Junior), she stopped talking to me, because, get this, she had gotten a (rich) boyfriend, which I had to find out from someone else. Yeah, she also stopped talking to me, almost instantly. Just me. No one else. Just me. It was really fucked up, considering how close we had gotten the year before. So, seeing her today, probably happier than a pig in shit when she doesn't deserve it, infuriated me.
It goes back to the whole "If you dick me around emotionally, you'll be happy" thing I mentioned earlier. It's fucked up and I hate it. Fucking, she doesn't deserve to be happy. At all. She's fucked up. And a chickenshit. She obviously couldn't handle being with someone like me. Well, good. Fuck her.
Ugh, I dont' want to be at work today. I just want to lock myself up at home and listen to Ion Dissonance.
I worked my last Saturday last week. JEAH, because, seriously, working Saturdays was really starting to get on my nerves, not to mention that my workload felt like it was growing and growing by the week. Also, I was permenently moved to the other building that the firm owns and, yeah, I do a lot moving boxes. All day. So, that in conjunction with all the shit I have to do Saturday was killing me.
Another really rad thing is that all the days I requested off thus far are Saturdays, like the one coming up. It's my birthday. Thank God I'm not working on my birthday, let alone a birthday that's on a Saturday.
I saw the Final Cut of Blade Runner last night at this special theater, The Ziegfeld. It was the second time this month that I saw the film there (the first time was last Wednesday). The first time I saw it, I went with my friends (from my old job, The New York Botanical Garden) Dante, Jolynne and Efrain and last night I hit it up with Rei and Xose (Jose).
Speaking of which, hanging out with Rei and Xose last night was interesting. It felt like, there was never a rift between us (mostly between me and Rei), and yeah, it was cool. It was like old times. Hopefully, there will be more times like that.
The Sidekick plan sucks ass. Basically, I'd have to give up half of my Whenever minutes and free nights, which is like, no. People barely call me, but, I know as soon as I have half my minutes cut, BAM, I'll be getting calls from everyone. But, yeah, the T-mobile rep had told me that because I've been a T-mobile customer for more than a year, I was able to have 600 Whenever minutes, no free nights, but, the 600 minutes.
It sucks.
Probably going to use it Pre-paid.
My brothers ended up getting an X-box 360, like, 2 weeks ago. And they got Halo 3 on the night that it came out. Wait. They got the game first, then the system. Yeah. That about sounds right. Sorry, I should have written that out better, and in order.
I have yet to touch the controllers, which is no big to me, because, I'm not really big on Halo anyways. I think it's horribly overrated. There isn't anything special about the game, really. It's a standard FPS with vehicles, and a very limited weapon selection. Well, that was the case with the first and second game. I mean, games like Perfect Dark and Timesplitters had weapons up the ass, where as the first Halo had, what, 4 weapons? What is that all about?
Also, I'd probably enjoy Halo more if the archtype of the Halo fan wasn't a loudmouth, fratboyesque asshole trying to mimic FPS Doug. Okay? Quit that shit. FPS Doug is funny. You are not. Fuck you.
Shit, one time, I played Timesplitters 3 with this one dude who was like "I'm Scott Vogel, I sing for Terror" and my initial thought was "Wait, I fucking hate Terror." From that moment on, or at least while I was in that game, I made it my mission to kill that shithead as much as I could. I did talk about how much I thought that Terror sucked ass as a band, but, sadly, that guy probably wasn't really Scott Vogel. What began to give it away was the fact that that's all he said: "I'm Scott Vogel. I sing for Terror." Nothing else. Asshole. Getting my hopes up like that...
Eventually, I'm going to be getting Guitar Hero II. I've made that a priority, when, really, I should be getting speakers for my computer.
Or a scanner.
Or, I dunno, I should pay the $45 balance on my Cel phone bill.
Speaking of which...I finally got a Sidekick 3. JEAH. All I have to do now is add the Data plan to my current plan and I'm all set...which I'll get to, eventually. I got it off my brother. He bought himself an MDA Wing, so he had to get rid of the Sidekick. He let me have it for $100. Yeah, I paid my brother $100 for the phone. See, I'd rather give him the money than say, some of the people on Craig's List, especially when I would have paid, what, $50 more for a phone in worse condition? Fuck that.
Ugh, I gotta finish some work.
Later.
Wow, I have 15 minutes left for my lunch break. My my, where does all the time go? (takes a sip of a Coke). Seriously, I'd like to know.
Time has been flying. Really fast, like, Concord fast. 4 months ago felt like last week. It's insane. And time isn't slowing down, nor does it plan on slowing down...and that's scary. Shit, I'm 23 now and next month, I'm going to be 24. And pretty soon after that, I'm going to be 30. Then, 40, and then, I'm lucky to live that long, 50, and so on and so forth. It'll all come faster than I can expect it.
But, yeah, on to something...I want to say "happier", but, instead, I'm going to say "better." I finally finished reading the final installment of the Harry Potter series. All I'm going to say is that, yes, it's a good read. I don't want to say much about the ending, or who dies, or whatever, because, personally, I hate spoilers. To death. Shit, when I was going out with Pennie, who introduced me to the books by lending them all to me, spoiled this one event that unfolded in the 6th book, which pissed me off, because, knowing something of the magentude that this event had, it really took away from the whole thing (she never understood that). But, yeah, on the subject of spoiling, I tried really hard to not try and spoil any of the manga stories that I got her into, although it was really fun teasing her by saying things like "Hao (from Shaman King) is..." only to have her make her angry pouty face at me. Ha.
What else? Oooh, I've been getting into this band, The Birthday Massacre. They have a new record out. It's called Walking With Strangers. It's very good. Sarah Zombie had linked me to their myspace when she was talking about how they were one of her favorite bands and what not. I clicked the link and was almost immediately hooked, which kinda surprised me, because I sort of consider them a "Goth" band, and let it be known, I don't like "Goth" music. Lots of it comes off as really immature, generic and just plain corny, like, let's see...who's a good example? Oh! Voltaire. Yeah, him. Ugh. I checked him out because one of my friends like him (I'm guessing; she subscribes to his blog on myspace), and I really wasn't impressed with what I heard. It was just lame sounding, I'm sorry. But, yeah, back to The Birthday Massacre. They're very good. The instrumentation, the lyrics, the vocals. Everything. Every song just has this really amazing atmosphere. It's usually beautiful and haunting, which I love.
Hopefully, I'll be able to hang out with some friends and/or just chill out tonight.
Wow, I could really go for a Kirin Ichiban right about now.
"Mijito, who were those men?"
"Listen to me! Listen to me, Corina, look at my hands. You've got to get out of here, they're after my tortillas!"
I love Pablo Francisco.
I've come to the conclusion that I want a Sidekick 3. Yeah, groan all you want, but, I want it for AIM (really, is there any other use for it?). So there.
Also, yeah...in December, I have the free day to go to The NY Anime Festival. JEAH! Fucking, I want to roll up into that with mad people, but, yeah, I'm realistic. I know it'll probably be just me, or just me and David. Possibly Jerry as well. I should try and trick Dante into coming. Same with Dom and Mu.
I need to hit up Craig's List. For the Sidekick. Fuck paying full price. Tops, I want to spend around $150. It'd also be great if it was in good condition, and by that I mean:
- No cracked screen.
- Minimal scratches.
- No exposed circuitry. Just...no.
- No jammed buttons.
- Working battery/ battery jack.
I can't wait to get the fuck out of here. Yes, I'm at work. Did I forget to mention that again? I did, didn't I? Oh well. You should just assume that when you see an entry posted up by me on a Saturday, that, hey, I'm at work. I don't even know why I am addressing this. No one really reads this...well, sorta. I think Sarah (Zombie) reads this. Wait. You probably don't know who that is. Once again, why am I addressing this? Oh, yeah, boredom.
I finally got around to borrowing the final Harry Potter book, and yes, it's been worth the wait thus far. I'm at Chapter 11. I wanted to read some here at work, but, yeah, it's like, my workload grows with each and every week here. This is probably the longest I've sat down all day. But, back to it: Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. It's pretty good so far. I can't wait to dive into it more.
On the subject of books, I ordered some, and by "some" I mean 2. Ha. The first one is Choke by Chuck Palanuik (did I spell it right? His name is so awkward-looking; he's also the dude who wrote Fight Club), and second was Underground by Haruki Murakami, which is a series of short stories based and inspired by this Buddist sect/cult's Sarin gas attacks in the Tokyo subways.
I've been wanting to check these out for some time, so, yeah...can't wait to get them.
Time for more deliveries.
JEAH.
So, today, during lunch, I recieved a phone call. It was from Jerry. He had called me to tell me that Cecily, this chick who I had some deep feelings for, on and off due to our situation (she's a woman and I'm a nice guy), was dating this dude, Oscar, whom I despise, because he's a scumbag. Awesome, right? I know.
Anyways, it's like, it left me speechless. It really did. I just, didn't know what to say. I mean, I said things, but, overall it was one of those, "OMG, WTF?" situations.
But more about this dude. I was friends with him for sometime, but, yeah, I got totally sick of the his apparent "If I'm not getting pussy, neither is Glen" thing that he had against me. He's cockblocked (I hate using that term) me on sooooo many ocassions, it's ridiculous. Like, the time that it really stood out was with this chick I was into a few years ago. Her name was Jessica. He was really obvious with that one. And when I confronted him about the whole thing, he denied it, only for me to discover that he really was trying to hook up with her sometime later. Shit, that sounds confusing, but, yeah, he's still a dick. And now he's a dick with Cecily, who is quite possibly the only chick after Pennie who just, completely blew me away. I mean, I've hung with a few other girls, and yes, they're mad cool, but, Cecily has this energy that she fills me with. Not to mention that our chemistry (well, IMHO) was really rad, rad enough to merit us as people who can totally date. Heh. Sadly, she's rather have me as a "Pretend Boyfriend" (you know it's true), like a lot of other girls. Fucking, it's insulting.
Let me elaborate as to why it's insulting:
She's done nothing but blog about what she wants from a guy, and not to toot my own horn or anything (I hate that expression, too) but, I feel like, I'm that guy. I'm what she wants. It's maddening, or really, it used to be maddening, when it really bothered me. Yeah, I'm kinda upset now, but, it's more along the lines of it just being utterly dissappointing. It almost makes me regret going out of my way to see her on Mondays. Yeah, I'd basically take an hour bus ride to fucking have coffee with her, for like, what, 30 minutes? Or how about going out of my way to get to her area (same route as on Mondays) to hang with her, because some shithead flaked on her (they've always flaked on her). And lest I forget the thing where she fucked her friend's ex. I didn't judge her about that all. And other things. A lot of other things. Things that she's gone on and on and on about. I've done them. With a smile. Without a moment's hesitation. For what? For this? To be second to someone like him? It's not right.
Plus, oh yeah, he's a scumbag. He's fucking cheated on every chick he's been with. I have confirmation of that. I'm not saying who told me, but, yeah, I have confirmation. Also, if you look at every comment he's ever left her, it's mad blatant "I want to fuck you" shit. Yeah, Cecily, he likes you for you. By "tits" he really means your personality. It's obvious he doesn't respect her, but, you know what, that's her issue. Once again, she's negated everything that she's ever written about wanting from a dude.
I did call her today, during my lunch, that I barely touched (it was Chipotle...) and just let her know what I felt towards the whole thing (lots of what I wrote here was in that) and I let her know that as long as she's with him like that, I refuse to talk to her or remote know her. I'm tired of being "the bigger man." Fuck that shit. I'm putting my foot down. No more of this spoiling shit (yeah, because, you shouldn't have your cake and eat it). It's me or him, Cecily. And you chose him.
Have fun.
P.S. - Not to sound like a dick (too late), but, right now, I really wish you dug that knife deeper into your arm when my cousin was fucking with your head.
Fuck you, cock.
